I didn't sleep at all tonight...

A little Blue Nile to share:

I have walked
A thousand miles
I have worked
As fast as I can
And I have raised
A precious child
To be a man
But I would never
Turn my back
On your love
And I have gone
Up and down
Yeah I have wandered
From place to place
And I have raised my weary hand
To my face
But I would never
Turn my back
On your love
Is there anybody there who knows me?
Is there any body there who knows now?
That I will be home soon
And I would never
Turn my back
On your love
When the sun is going down
And there are colours
Against the sky
I have seen my home town
In your eyes
But I would never
Turn my back
Yeah I have learned
To face the fact
No I would never
Turn my back
On your love

In other news, I saw Iron Man tonight and I LOVED it. It made me a little itchy to work, which is strange, because I almost never get that. Only very rarely, and usually not as big dork movies where I get to geek out and hoot and holler and love the gizmos. But I did with this one-- guess that speaks for its brilliance as a "filim."

Also, partly in response to that itchiness, I updated my website. Like, a lot. It's prettier now, and totally full of all my new career stuff. Check it: www.katemaccluggage.com

I HAVE TO GET THIS SCRIPT DONE. Sunday's my due date for myself to get it to Mike. And my apartment is still a mess. And I didn't sleep tonight. Something's going on. I have this commercial audition tomorrow... and then the afternoon free. I started laundry today, but I need to actually clean up and put clothes away. Suggestions? I'm feeling overwhelmed and somehow whenever I block off time to get mysefl together, I end up watching reruns of some horrid reality show like Dancing With the Stars. Who cares about that crap?? Not me. SO WHY DO I WATCH IT??? *sigh* So, send lots of encouragement to go clean.

I have two great auditions this next week and I think I'm getting anxious to work and so I'm feeling some pressure. Plus, the Bhav is away so I'm not as comfortable at home. I'm used to having him around... I miss him lots, and he's got plenty to do, so I feel a bit adrift.

I really really really love The Blue Nile. Really.
*heart*

Blogging is a Sometimes Activity

As I sit here after a long day of doing precisely SQUAT (and catching up on old Idol-- more on that later), I know I need to talk a bit about what I've been up to. I apologize to those few friends of mine who really really REALLY want to know my inner thoughts. Or my stalkers.

Firstly, The Farnsworth Invention closed this past Sunday. It was an incredible experience... COMPLETELY incredible. I learned so so much during my time on Farnsworth. I felt blessed to be with a show that high profile, with a cast that talented, and on a show that well executed. As an understudy, I spent a lot of time watching. If the show were shallow or boring, my job would've been SO much harder. I learned a lot about myself while working on the show. I've always battled confidence issues, and it was interesting to me how they cropped up during this phase of my life. I felt a kind of social intimidation at first that I feel very close to. There's something about feeling like an outsider or a dork or whatever when you're younger that never really goes away. I continue to have issues in groups sometimes, feeling unsure of myself or awkward. What surprised me was that I never doubted my work in the show. When I went on for Lizette a few times, I felt confident in my ability as a performer. I was focused on getting all the quick changes and everything, but I felt strong and I had a hell of a time. It is such a rush... fitting into a well-oiled machine, playing scenes as if I've been doing it for months, acting across from some incredible performers with incredible resumes and reputations... nothing could be better. And ultimately, my social fears quiet down, and isn't the work what it's about? I suppose all actors have some sort of issue with themselves, and it drives them to be other people for a while.
In other acting news, a film I did this past summer (I have a small part) debuted tonight at South by Southwest film festival. It's called Natural Causes, and while I haven't seen the film, I know the quality of the artists behind it. It's a Cannon/Lerman/Cannon film, and the Lerman part is one of my oldest friends. He and I made films in high school, and I have always believed fiercely in him. Here's an interview with the three creators and the preview for the film. If you're near any of the festivals where the film is showing, check it out! http://blog.spout.com/2008/02/27/sxsw-preview-natural-causes/

So Idol? And Project Runway? And Top Model? How great are these shows??
Although I must say I can't watch Idol in real time. I fast forward through the boring performances. I mean, really. I can't sit here and listen to some half-ballad. No fun. But, so my favorites: I like Carly (who doesn't), and I really really love Brooke. I don't think she'll win, but I really dig her. And the guys? Well, David Archuleta is of course adorable... but I'm a Jason Castro fan. If he released something, I'd listen to it. I find David Hernandez weird and slimy looking and totally annoying (all that club dancing onstage when people have been kicked off) but I have to admit something attractive happens to him when he sings. But I really don't want to know any more about him.

Ok, so Runway's over, but I'm glad Christian won. I really wanted Chris March to win, but since he didn't make top 3 (Rami's great, but HUMAN HAIR TRIM ROCKS!!! Are they crazy??? Inventive and beautiful. I want it). But Christian had nothing else to do. I liked Jillian, and I think someone wealthy should sponsor her for cute cute clothes. Knits and denim, yay.

I'm so happy there's new Top Model. Everyone loves Claire, I'm no exception. I'm also an Amis fan, cuz she's a weirdo... and I'm really rooting for Anya. She photographs beautifully, she's hard-working, passionate, gracious, positive. I kind of hate that the judges get down on her about her accent... Jaslene has a thick accent, and she's still a spokeperson and won the friggin' contest. That's my thought on that. I like Anya's accent... I've never heard anything like it before.

So, what else can I say? In my first year out of school (and it's not even over yet), I've accomplished two of my big life goals: to be on Broadway, and to be in a film festival. How crazy! I know that my work and talent have some to do with that, but I am so struck by how blessed and how lucky I have been as well. These past 10 months have been full of such good beautiful things for me.

The best part of this past year is all the things I've learned, and the ways in which I've watched myself give up my little prides and neuroses. I've kind of been surprised to watch myself come up to all the challenges of the past year and take them in stride. There are pieces of my heart I knew were thorny about moments and people from my past, and many of those have been smoothed over. I'm learning more about my temptations (I say as Just My Imagination comes on itunes) and my pitfalls, and altering those I can... I hope to learn to love those I can't, too. I'm working on that.

I'm feeling the pull to travel. And my apartment is a mess. And I'm contemplative. It must be spring.

Raul, Philo, Aaron, et al...

So, Raul Esparza was on Pushing Daisies this week... which brings a whole new meaning to him doing Wicked (scroll down! scroll down!) It's kind of awesome watching him fall in love with Kristin Chenoweth on TV, not a stage. Huzzah for crossover. Course, they're both superstars and I'm waiting for the duet fantasy sequence between their characters.

THE FARNSWORTH INVENTION ROCKS. Everyone involved in the project is just incredible. We're in the second week of previews right now, and it's getting a great reception. You can get half price tix right now at TKTS. I suggest you do. :)

In other news, 30 Days of Night was gorgeous but not very scary.
Resident Evil 3 is better than 2 (and Milla is just so damn good).
I'm loving my new DVR and the chance to watch America's Next Top Model (go team autism!), Pushing Daisies (narrated by the great Jim Dale, and it's going to be cancelled soon, so watch while you still can), Chuck (which will probably get picked up, it's great), and my weekly dose of Shatner of Boston Legal.

ALSO IF YOU AREN'T WATCHING DAMAGES AND YOU LIVE IN NEW YORK YOU MAKE ME SICK. That is all. It's amazing and the season ends tonight. So get on that.

Thoughts at Home....

Here's a collection of goodies:

my website: www.katemaccluggage.com

My episode of All My Children goes on air on wednesday afternoon.

I just recently got turned on to We Need Girlfriends. OMG amazing. Team Henry!

I'm also digging a new song on Mano Feliciano's myspace: www.myspace.com/manophonic
Listen to Jenn Colella. I'm a big fan of the Rihanna moment.

..... and I will be in the Farnsworth rehearsal room in T minus 14 hours.
Holy crap.

Monday, Monday, Monday

I just wanted to get the WORD out there that I start rehearsals for The Farnswoth Invention on Monday.

WORD.

I am also updating my website as such. Huzzah!

This is my favorite passage from The Last Temptation of Christ. I'm not super-Christian, it's just GOREGOUS:

They talked and sighed. Jesus, meanwhile, was sitting up, thought still in a deep sleep. He felt he was not asleep at all, but rather standing body and soul in the Jordan, refreshed. The desert sand was being removed from his body and the virtues and vices on mankind from his soul-- leaving it again virgin. Suddenly, it seemed to him in his sleep that he had cmoe out of the Jordan, taken a green untrodden path and entered a dense orchard full of blossoms and fruit. And it seemed he was no longer himself, Jesus the son of Mary of Nazareth, but rather Adam, the first man to be created. He had issued from God's hands at precisely that moment-- his flesh was still fresh clay-- and had laid down on the flowering grass to dry off in the sun so that his bones might congeal, colour come to his face and the seventy-two joints of his body tighten and enable him to stand up and walk. While he lay and ripened under the sun birds fluttered over his head, flew from tree to tree, promenaded on the springtime grass. They conversed among themselves, twittered, looked at this new creature who lay on the grass, examined him with curiosity. Each had his say and then continued on; and he, versed in their language, rejoiced to hear them.

The peacock, proudly fanning out its feathers, strolled up and down, threw oblique, seductive glances at this Adam stretch on the ground, and explained to him: "I used to be a hen, but I loved an angel and became a peacock. Is there any bird more beautiful than I am? None!" The turtle-dove flew from tree to tree, lifted its throat to heaven and cried: "Love! Love! Love!" And the thruh: "Among the birds, only I sing and keep warm in the thickest of frosts." The swallow: "If not for me, the trees would never blossom." The cock: "If not for me, morning would never come." The lark: "At dawn when I fly up into the sky to sing, I say good-bye to my children because I never know if I shall return from my song still alive." The nightengale: "Don't look at me as I am now, in my poor clothes. I too had large gleaming wings, but I turned them into song." And a long-nosed blakcbird came and clung to the shoulder of the first-created man, bent over to his ear and spoke to him softly, as though entrusting a great secret to him:

"The doors of heaven and hell are adjacent, and identical: both green, both beautiful. Take care, Adam! Take care! Take care!"

Exactly then, at dawn, with the blackbird's song in his mind-- Jesus awoke.

I am feeling rather dizzy today-- I think maybe the hot toddy/beer combo last night was maybe too much? I should take a bath or something...

We ended up not doing the show last night. It was miserable cold by the water. So this is a good thing. Here's the link to my show info, btw:

http://www.playbill.com/news/article/109991.html

It's a fun show, good for kids, especially.

I see American Story Project's Daguerrotype this afternoon. Huzzah... and then I hope to catch at least most of Chris Kaminstein's reading. So we'll see.

Things are messy in my apartment. I still feel dizzy and funny. :(